biking biking biking!!!!

Can I just say.. BIKING.

I love it. I needed it. I've wanted it!

why might you ask? well that's easy I can't run or walk briskly and even with machines it's not the same as seeing the world.

There was a joke I made to make me feel better during surgery. If I saw someone walking/running/biking/jumping you name it. I'd say something along the lines of:

-They are just MOCKING me.
-They are just like look at ME i'm WALKING.

Of course in a sarcastic voice and usually over and over because that's my style. I think it's hilarious so I repeat it until you think it's hilarious. hahaha.

My bike :] in my small apartment! 

But now I'm mocking anyone who's handicraped.. just kidding that's mean but I am enjoying it. I'm enjoying the fact that wanking up the stairs HURTS and that walking up a TINY slat up a hill HURTS. Oh man I've wanted that hurt for so long! Now I have it and I love it so much. Not only that it's helping me get back into shape sooner then a gym would. I never realized that a bike works your whole body my arms,legs,tummy! everything gets sore! it's great.

So going with this. I biked to church. all up hill. HARD but worth it! today I did not bike despite the fact I still wanted to! but I'm sore and I slept half the day yesterday  because it wore me out so much! But like I said worth it.

Church was amazing. My dad texted me after reading my last post and asked to hear about church here. I know he's at least interested so I suppose it doesn't hurt. I don't usually brag about going to church or being LDS. But I'll just talk about the experience so far. Which.. is amazing. I've struggled a lot with being married to a so called "non-member" I'd prefer to say someone not of my faith. I know I know.. "no one would treat you different for that!" and maybe you're right. Maybe. Maybe it wasn't that fact completely but I know clayton felt it also. I know that maybe it could be my foot surgeries keeping me from being a 100% active member.  But non the less it's been hard to say the least.

Here is what the ward building looks like!

I've really doubted my faith... I love you all (my family) please do not be upset about what I'm about to say. I promise it has NOTHING to do with clayton not being a member and all to do with my trials testing me. I am not saying i'm not a member. I am. For now at least. But the first sunday I went to church I was more on the line then I am now. They have been focusing on mission work at this ward I'm not sure about everywhere but they are here. They had a handfull of people telling their testimonies. The second to last one was a girl maybe a few years older then me. she said something along the lines of this

"I love this church. It has changed my life. I've been a member all my life and never doubted it because I saw what not believing or following it did to my family members who denied it. The hard times in my life have changed who I am. I grew up believing in the church 100%. That it would bring my dreams. Once I hit my 20's that water got really mercy. It turns out not all your dreams do come true or just don't happen the way you want. That really tested me and made me really look into the church. I found things I didn't like that I didn't know before. I however believe this church is true"

That's just a jest of what I remember. What mattered to me at least.. So what I got from that.. well It's been really mercy for me. SURPRISE I'm now also in my 20's. Amazing how that happens. I think it happens to a lot of people. At least I hope so.. because growing up has been a lot harder then I thought it would be. A lot more unclear.

Me and clayton at the Oakland Temple.

But the thing I wanted to say is that Line I was on I'm not sure where I'm at but I know if I'm going to be religiosity at all it's going to be the LDS church I choose. I've been to other churches with friends in PA and it's not the same at least not for me. Please don't get the wrong Idea from this post. Please if you have doubts or questions about where I'm at come to me. Talk to me. I'm here to answer and love everyone. I Just didn't feel right writing this post without saying what I needed to. Honesty is the best policy right?

However, I'd love to share yesterday with you. First. I personally love relief society. I have NEVER once said that in my whole time going to church. But here I LOVE it. I'll get to that in a minute my dad mentioned in his text "talk about how it's different in the mission field." As most of you know I lived in the mission field before obviously my dad knows what it's like but it is different. The talks in sacrament are usually a little be more quirky. Not in a bad way in a good way. You just kind of lose that normal "Utah" way of talking about things. which is nice. seems a little more human to me. ( I am not trying to be mean here I love so many people in utah.)

I have to admit i'm not a huge fan of my sunday school class. I like to go to the basic gospel principles class which is usually smaller/new members but I prefer to learn about the principles then going into so much depth in the scriptures. but the class is really small. and usually pretty short the way they run the classes is a little different.

now relief society-- love it. Both times I've gone. I didn't go last sunday because clayton came to sacrament with me and I don't like forcing him to the other meetings. But this sunday I totally needed relief society.. it was all about feeling left out or odd in a ward. Then turned into talking about how sometimes even when people don't stretch out to you that you need to be aware of people around you and maybe invite them to go to a movie or on a shopping trip with your friends. Not to forget about them just because they aren't in your group of people. It was exactly what I needed and really touching also. Then after a girl who is older then me  talked to me and of course I was already emotional from the spirit touching me and just the act of kindness made me cry and open up to her. It was just nice. and I really appreciated it. I also appreciated someone I personally don't remember meeting coming up to me and asking if Clayton was taking a certain class in school. That to me really meant just a tremendous amount.. The fact that someone who doesn't even know me asks about my husband even though he isn't sitting next to me. It was a good day. well dad I hope this was a good post for you. and I enjoyed writing it.

I wanted to say how much I miss and love my family. Truly I will be longing for your love.
oh short thing. I applied at a small cafe me and clayton love called Northside Cafe it's a shift on MWF from 9-2pm so hoping to hear back from that! short shift every other day.. sounds like a good "test" to see how my feet hold up and I already know i'd love working with the girls who work there.. so hoping.. and I sent my resume into a Credit Union here that I'd like to work at also. So i'm not giving up and not giving in to depression. at least not all the time.

always,

Claiming Mrs. Edgerton.