Life of Kristy.

Oh Hi,

I feel as if I'm awful at writing. I know my "situation" with surgery is boring but some people (at least I think) want to know how I am doing.

I've been walking for about a week now and it is SLOWLY getting better. My heart misses the boot because now people just assume i'm "better" and I guilty for walking so slowly across intersections or such. Oh silly me and my guilt! All is good and well though. I start my Babysitting job TOMORROW. WHAT? hah. has NOT hit me yet. I am very excited to have something to do even if it is only 2 hours at a time. I'm getting 10 an hour! so it's so worth it. Also I"m going to be working Four days a week instead of just three! which I'm so happy. I"m just so grateful to have this small job. We need the 80 dollars/or more a week. It  is going to be a tremendous relief for us.

On the HARD times of walking. It really just isn't easy. I know I should be grateful i'm walking but the honest truth is it's still almost just as hard as being on the couch. I can't walk for a long time without my leg giving out and becoming light headed and feeling as if I'm going to pass out. The heat this week has NOT helped.

The other Thing I feel is needed to be addressed sense most people are asking this as of now.

Q.When are you getting your next surgery?
A. I'm not completely sure yet. However, I do know that it wont be ANYTIME soon. reason 1: My foot is in no condition to be supporting my intire wait on crutches yet. It is still very swollen and can only fit in flip flops and loosely tied, 1 size too big, Vans that I own. Also, my muscles on the foot (why it's swelling) are still very stiff and uncomfortable. Reason 2: Sense the insurance has failed me :'( and I have to pay for my second surgery I can put it off a little while even if the doctor gives me the go ahead in another month or so. As of right now we are Shooting for November.

Now that my Foot update is out of the way--on to more interesting things. I have to admit I do miss Facebook sometimes, but for the most part I have been much happier sense I deleted it. I've been getting asked the question:

Q. Why did you delete facebook?
A. Well to be completely and 100% honest it made me DEPRESSED. It's really really really hard to read "who wants to go to sevenpeaks? I just bought my pass and need someone to go with", "I just went hiking. Best time this summer yet!", "LAGOON TODAY!", Etc. When you are laid up on a couch all summer/in no condition to even do any vigorous walking when you can walk, then seeing all these fun filled status' break your heart. I"m not saying that I"m mad at ANYONE for being happy. That just isn't the case. I've had pretty low self-esteem (as most girls do) sense my parents split up and am still over coming that and it's been a real struggle to over come my constant worrying. "did she even have fun here? I'm so freaking boring these days" or "my friends don't want to come over during the summer i'm such a gay and lame person to hang out with". Honestly, To those who I have hung out with sense the wedding, I've worried nearly the entire time if you were having fun or I'd feel so bad afterwards that you seemed bored.

I know I know, This is ALL IN MY HEAD and it makes it worse. I am learning to understand this and overcome it. After two years though, It's really hard to do. As of late I've been working really hard to get over my fears and jump into life again! So one of my first steps was "deleting Facebook." Learning that--yes-- facebook kept me in contact with everyone (even people I probably have never really talked to). But did it really keep me in contact? No. I have always been the type of person who would prefer to meet in person or talk on the phone about life. Not read what everyone else is doing while i'm being a home body. So Facebook had to go. It was just as simple as that.

Sorry that was kind of a REALLY long answer but I think I covered it well. I hope everyone understands that I love them and because I love them I decided that living my life and including people in who I want to be and who I am is why I deleted my facebook. Not because I was sick of everyone, or hated people. Simply because it was holding me back.

I've been doing so well sense. I can't even begin to explain how much better.

• I've done things I've wanted to learn how to do for MONTHS because I wasn't waisting time on facebook. I've read like two books sense i've deleted facebook. 
• I made a cleaning chart that I planned on making before my surgery sense I deleted facebook. 
• I've hung out with Four different people sense I deleted facebook. 
• I've sat at a coffee shop talking to my handsome and loving husband sense I deleted facebook. 

I'm not saying that Facebook ruined my life. I'm just saying that not knowing what everyone is doing every hour of every day is really nice. I focus on other things more. and DO things. and I'm just doing things to help me rebuild my life as a wife and as Kristy. I've also been keeping up on Chair-A-Cise and that has improved my mood so much and me and Clayton have been discussing getting a gym pass so I can do some cardio on a Bike machine. which i'm looking forward too. I've always started waking up Early with Clayton and making him and I breakfast and getting started on the day early like I used to LOVE and now LOVE again.


So this entry has turned into a rant mostly.But I think you'll enjoy it :D.

Always,

Kristy E. E.